Yet another slasher film. Enough already…

July 19, 2008 at 3:25 pm 1 comment

I’ve completely given up on the slasher genre as a whole. And I’m sure I’m not the only one — I mean, how many times can a movie about horny teenagers getting stabbed, mauled and diced up be original? And that’s the chief problem with the new, ridiculously bad slasher movies getting pumped out today. Here, let me explain.

Back in its golden age, when the genre was still new and exciting, people were drawn to it because of its realism. When “Halloween” came out, it terrified people, because it was so realistic. Why couldn’t a deranged maniac bring terror to Suburbia by way of a kitchen knife? Serial murder, unlike zombies, mad scientists and the like, was a brand-new concept to horror films, and it was different because it could actually happen.

People were scared of it, something Horror films generally try to do, and thus the flick made shit-tons of money. So, of course the logical next step Hollywood took that, exploited it and put out a whole lot more slash ’em up movies. And for a time, it worked. “Friday the 13th” was another simple and realistic plot that had kids terrified of summer camp for reasons other than the usual bad food and creepy counselors. Hell, even an unrealistic plot like “Nightmare on Elm St.” was a fun and interesting take on the slasher film genre.

“Child’s Play” and that bullcrap was ridiculous, but I can even stomach that.

It’s when you start digging for story lines so vigorously that you decide to jettison Jason into space, well, then you’ve completely ruined the entire genre. I wanted it to die, right then and there. When you take away that realism, then you’ve essentially taken away the element of the movie that made it so popular in the first place. No one respects “Jason X” or “Freddy vs. Jason,” because they make a mockery of the slasher genre, which, despite its recent brush with steady decline, is a very popular genre.

With the Rob Zombie “Halloween” remake and the reboot of “Friday the 13th” on the way, maybe the slasher film is making a comeback, cutting the fat that has made it so ridiculous in order to get back to its roots. Or maybe it’s just the remake is just an excuse to make more money. Either way, the movie’s on its way. Here’s the first look at the new-and-improved Jason:

over at Shock Til You Drop, they enhanced the photo to give us a better look at the villain:

I really don’t have much hope for this flick, nor do I have any reason to want to. I gave up on the genre a long time ago, which is sad because “Halloween” is such a classic. But sometimes, a genre reaches a logical conclusion, like when you feel the need to shed the themes and ideas that made the first movies so great, and you should just cease to make them, if you truly respect the originals.

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Entry filed under: remake. Tags: , , , .

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. slasher films suck  |  July 21, 2008 at 8:59 am

    There should be a romantic comedy slasher film, where, like, Matthew McConaughey is showing off his big muscles for some girl who’s falling madly in love with him and then a shark jumps out of the water and eats him.

    Reply

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