Wasn’t The Mummy 3 terrible enough?
I have no problem admitting that I thoroughly enjoyed the first film in the “Mummy” trilogy. Heck, even the second one was entertaining for what it was — a mindless summer blockbuster. But there’s no one who can disagree that after the second flick, the whole franchise went sour. The Jumping of the Proverbial Shark happened with (and I totally don’t blame you for shoving this bomb out of your memory) “The Scorpion King,” featuring The Rock as, well you guessed it, a half-man, half-bug, all-badass that …. uh, I’m actually kind of pleased with myself for not knowing anything more about that film.
And that brings us to the not-so-long-awaited “The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Something or Other.”
I haven’t seen it, yet. Well, probably ever, and for good reason. I really don’t usually listen to critics, but when something is pulling in reviews this overwhelmingly bad (there are only 11 positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, accumulating in whopping 9 percent on the tomatometer) I can’t help but believe that this movie is a steaming pile of, yeah you get the picture.
Do I feel bad trashing a film that I haven’t seen, nor do I ever intend to see? No. As soon as Brendon Fraser growls that super-cheesy cliche, “here we go again,” in the film’s trailer, I feel that I have free reign to dump as much negative sentiments on this movie as possible.
Anyway, even after “Mummy 3” limped to a second place finish behind “The Dark Knight,” which took home its third straight No. 1 box office draw, the producers are still licking their chops at the possibility for another atrocious sequel. Via Cinema Blend:
“By taking The Mummy out of Egypt and putting it in China, by exploring a different approach to the quest for immortality, we now have it clear that the Mummy franchise can travel,” (director Rob Cohen told them. … “If we want to go to Mexico or we want to go to Peru, we can because there’s a cultural truth there of the mummies and these beautiful cultures.”
STOP. For the love of all things holy, stop while you’re at near-rock bottom, because there’s still room to fall. And I guarantee yet another sequel has nowhere to go but even farther in the shitter than “Mummy 3” dove. The Cinema Blend article gave a pretty huge spoiler about the future of the franchise (which I won’t give away on the off-chance one of you actually wants to see “Mummy 3”), but let me just say this — this is a clear case of some studio exec. slipping in a useless and absurd plot twist in order to set up another movie.
Dammit, movies like this are just plain frustrating. Even when they don’t own the box office, the production companies still want to pump them out. If the public’s not paying to see “Mummy 3” isn’t proof enough that we don’t want a fourth one, want else can we do to stop its production?